Emotional Labor of Parenting

 

I often feel that managing my work life, the meetings, the e-mails, the writing, is trivial compared with the emotional labor it takes to be a parent.  

 

UC Berkeley sociology professor Arlie Hochschield coined the term emotional labor to describe the effort required to manage feelings to create a desirable emotional display and meet the expectations of the job.   

 

Just as the stewardess must appear friendly even with abusive customers, or the physician  must display calm reassurance despite her own uncertainty, we parents continually feel the emotional pressure to keep our cool, quell anxieties, and appear cheerful.

 

Managing our emotions is crucial to our success but it comes at a price: Stress, emotional exhaustion, dissatisfaction with the "job," health problems, and detachment from our  feelings, in other words, abandonment of ourselves.

 

We can't achieve our leadership aims if we don't take care of ourselves. 

 

Find sanctuaries.  Hike, go to the museum, take a day off from parenting, to regain perspective and rejuvenate.

 

Vent.  Find a non-judging someone who can hear your genuine feelings, however raw, and provide unconditional support.